


The Pain of the Little Ones

by Oscarthegrouch



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Abigail Hobbs Dies, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Best Dad Award for Bill Graham, Bill Graham is a good dad, Brave Will Graham, Coming of Age, Depressing, Discussion of Abortion, God bless Bill Graham, Hurt, Loneliness, Mpreg, Multi, Omega Will Graham, Out of Character, Out of Character Will Graham, Poverty, Teen Pregnancy, blitz mention of Abigail Hobbs, blitz mention of Garrett Jacob Hobbs, sad topics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2020-09-28 11:21:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20425127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oscarthegrouch/pseuds/Oscarthegrouch
Summary: It's like the baby knows it's unwanted. Making itself discreet hoping for mercy. Huddling itself in the small space and barely making a move. Will only feels it shift. No kicking.





	1. Butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, hello I am here to hurt you really bad. I don't like hurting alone. The facts are inspired by an interview I heard on the radio.

''How can I get you pregnant if I don't cum in you Graham?''

Will flushes, feeling silly. Jaden knows better, what does he know about sex anyway? He looks at the Alpha looming on top of him, his excitement palpable. His naked body is hovering over his. There isn't a lot of space between their two chests and their legs are touching, Jaden's penis slightly grazing his Omega cocklet.

He nods looking at Jaden from under his eyelashes.

Jaden penetrates him.

It's a very different sensation than the one his toy gives him. The intimacy is almost unbearable. His body is cold where his entrance is burning hot, all he can think of is that there is another human being, a foreign organ, inside of him.

Will likes it. He feels all grown up, he's no longer a virgin! Jaden smiles at him and Will gives it back.

''You feel good, you know that?''

Will blushes, pleased at the intention. Everything is going slowly and everything is going fast. He can't stop smiling, teeth uncovered letting his braces show even though he hates it normally, he's too happy to care; Jaden likes him back.

Jaden slowly slips out, dragging along his insides and the sensation amazes him. Sex is really good he thinks. When Jaden slips back in again he moans, relaxing his body to the other. He's wetter and more open. It feels really good.

Jaden fucks him by pressing on his hips alternating unto his shoulders from time to time. Will wishes they could kiss but that might not be a thing during sex? Anyway he should be glad, Jaden is looking at him, complimenting his body, telling him he's the prettiest Omega in the whole school. ''Prettier than Suzan?'', Will almost asks. She has long curly hair, big breasts and slim ankles. Everybody wants her.

However he doesn't ask. It's stupid to be insecure. If Jaden didn't want to be here he wouldn't be. And he is here. With him, having sex in his bedroom where he had laid some many previous nights writing about how amazing the Alpha is in his journal.

''Too bad I couldn't knot you. You're really not bad if only you'd stop dressing like a farmer's boy''. He says after they're finished.

''Oh. Oh thank you.'' he says because it's kinda of an insult? But Jaden told him he was hot and isn't it what counts? Will tucks a curl behind his ear. He restrains himself from reaching for his glasses, knowing Jaden thinks he looks better without them.

He shuffles a bit at the door while Jaden puts his jacket back on. He gathers all the courage he has in his heart and looks up at Jaden's face. He gives him a soft face and asks: ''Uhm so maybe I should get your house number or something? We could go for an ice cream Sunday or a walk if you'd prefer.'' His tight heart is beating fast as he finishes his sentence. He waits for Jaden 's answer with a baited breath. Trying to find a clue on his face.

''Yeah...why don't you give me your number, lets do that.''

Will's a bit uncomfortable. He doesn't understand why he can't give his but he still startles to grab a piece of paper and pen. He puts a heart and his name under it, smiling as he hands it to the boy.

''Thanks then, bye.'' he says, closing the door behind himself. Will's a bit disconcerted. He wished he had stayed longer. Wished they'd had kissed and hugged more.

He realizes that his underwear is uncomfortable. His slick residue is making a mess. He gets naked under the shower, needing to rinse the smell off anyway before his dad comes back.

He makes a little squeal: he's not a virgin anymore and he did it with Jaden, Jaden!

*

Will sees Jaden the next day but it doesn't mean he talks to him. He tries to catch his eye, waves once or twice at him, gives him a few smiles. At first it looks like he simply didn't catch them. But by Friday Jaden hadn't called, hadn't spared him one glance and Will was pretty sure he had seen him sitting all alone outside the cafeteria. After all he was right out the window. Will tries to stay positive. He doesn't want to be clingy either. He read in magazines how much of a big ''no, no'' it was in relationships. In the end Jaden said he was pretty and this type of thing didn't change from one day to the other. He was still pretty. Or so he told himself, smiling absentmindedly as he remembered the first time they had kissed in the small corner of the staircase down the gym next to the lockers.

Jaden is standing alone near the classrooms and Will brightens up. None of his friends are there so he's sure he'll get his intention. His cheeks warm at the thought of talking to him again.

''Hey!'' he says, clutching his chemistry book closer to his chest. He hopes Jaden notices the pretty bow he put in his hair.

''Oh, Graham. What do you want?''

''Well...you didn't call?'' he starts unsure, sensing the cold shoulder. ''You know about Sunday and ice cream?'' he says more hopefully, voice turning higher pitched at the end of his sentence. He stopped smiling because he's conscious about his braces again.

''Yeah I won't make it.''

''Oh. Well that's okay how about Wednesday evening, do you...?'' Will flushes and interrupts himself as he sees the Alpha's blasé expression.

Just at that moment a Beta walks out the door. ''Hey babe, ready to get some slurpies?''

When Jaden makes an awkward face she turns around on cue, noticing the weird Omega staring at his shoes. ''Who's that?''

''Nobody'' he says easily, avoiding Will's eyes as they shoot up in hurt betrayal. Will's eyes well up so he ducks his head back down. Not soon enough to escape the girl's sneer and Jaden's arm looping around her waist.

''Lets go'' she cheers him on, then in a hushed voice ''What's his deal, what a loser.''

''Never mind him, he's that transfer guy that never made any friends.''

Will feels his nose clog. He feels the warmth in his chest creep up to fuel his streaming eyes. He tries to sob quietly, in case someone walks on him.

He grabs his blue little bow and rips it out of his hair. He slams it on the ground and steals to the Omega toilet.

He catches his face in the mirror: ''You're ugly'' he says at his reflection, not giving himself the time to look at his ruined mascara. He breaks down in the safety of the bathroom stall, hugging himself on the toilet seat. He stays there till the end of period.

When he gets back out he's late for class because it took him too much time to get rid of the tracks of mascara on his round cheeks. He gets scolded by the teacher and has to suffer snickers. He decides that he hates his life.

Will misses the bus because he's so overwhelmed by what happened this afternoon that he needs to go back to the toilet where he can cry in peace. He ends up walking back home on foot, miserable, wishing he had a friend to talk to. Someone that could explain to him why the boy who he thought was his boyfriend had just dumped him.

The house is empty when he steps in. It was a good thing, his father would have asked questions. Will goes up the stairs without taking off his shoes or getting his bag out of the hallway. He wants to make a quick nest but then he realizes that it's on this bed that he had lost his virginity. He can't contain his wail. He wants to bang his head against the wall, he nearly does. Instead he ripes the sheets off, he hadn't cleaned them, to happy to go to sleep with the smell of the Alpha's scent on them.

He balls them up and throws them out the window where they land in their ridicule garden. When his bed and nest are finally made, he balls himself around the old familiar sheets and sobs himself to sleep.

*

''Will? Will?'' he jolts to the sound of knocking on his door.

''Just a minute pop'' he answers in a weak voice. He tries to comb his hair, to make himself look like less of a mess but his father insists. ''What have I told you about leaving things in the hallway!''

The voice of his father reprimanding him is too much. Not right now, not today he thinks. It's not my fault he whines to himself. When his son refuses to face him, Bill enters the room, tired and angry from a long day of work.

The sight of his boy red in the face in his nest of a bed softens him immediatly. He schools his face to a gentler expression, trying to catch the fleeting eyes of his son.

Will refuses him the eye contact, he's too ashamed of what he did. Of what happened. Of how stupid he had been.

''Can I come in?'' Bill asks.

Will turns his head away and Bill decides it's as good as a yes. He kneels next to the bed rubbing his big worker's hand on the frail shoulder. He tucks a dark curls back in place, wipes remaining tears and squeezes the boy's hands.

''Did someone did you wrong boy?'' Will grimaces but doesn't move otherwise, eyes trained on the sheets he's currently picking at. ''Hey, where's that blue bow I bought for you to put in your hair? You insisted so much for me to get it and now it's gone.'' Because Bill knows it's the issue. Knows that there aren't a lot of reasons for Omega's to start dressing pretty and wearing makeup.

Will sniffles loudly still not looking at his father. ''I looked ugly with it.''

''Well that's just not true.'' he says caressing his cheek. ''I think you looked beautiful this morning.''

''I'm ugly!'' he says with more fervor. ''I hate this place I want to leave.'' he whines, tears welling back into his eyes.

Bill's sad his gift hadn't lasted long. He hadn't a lot of money to take care of his boy. All he had he put it aside in hopes to help him if ever he wanted to go to college. He hadn't wanted to indulge him with a stupid fashion accessory. But Will had seemed so happy trying it. Had worn it at dinner and breakfast. It had warmed his heart.

''Now don't talk no nonsense in my own house.'' He forcefully bumps their foreheads, letting his beard scruff his nose. ''You're beautiful son.''

He feels frail arms snake at his sides. He lets William hug him, taking him in his arms up close to his chest against his beating heart. ''You're my favorite thing in the world you know that?'' Bill insists, kissing the top his hair.

''What's their name?'' he puffs, rubbing circles in his back.

''I don't want to talk about it!'' Will growls.

Bill frowns, hurt that he can't do anything to help his boy. He's helpless to the matters of the heart. He wishes he could take his son's pain away. Make it all better, wishes Will would never experience any negative emotions. He holds him tighter.

''Okay'' he assents. ''But any person that hurts you is a damn idiot, a big sorry couillon!'' he underlines. ''Because your precious, perfect, son.''

''You're the only one who thinks so.'' he complains in his armpit, wetting his work shirt. ''Nobody likes me at school. I don't have any friends'' he confesses, sobbing louder.

Bill thinks he might had had a tiny heart attack. He knows his baby son his awkward. Knows he isn't popular. That it is his fault for changing cities all the times, chasing for work.

''I'm sorry'' he says. And he is. If he had the money he'd put him in a boarding school so that he could settle, give people a chance to know him. ''I'm sorry'' he repeats, feeling his own tears threatening his eyes.

''Let me tell you something my boy'' he continues, petting his hair, ''you're a very smart kid. And kids your age they don't care about that. It's all about who has the prettiest skirt and who throws the ball the furthest. They don't care about what's inside but you are very special'' he swears. ''And when they grow up they'll see that. You're just ahead of them.''

Will doesn't answer but he squeezes his dad's shirt.

Bill worries his lips. He hates this feeling. Slowly he pushes Will away from his neck, ignoring the cold wetness it leaves. Cupping his son's cheeks he forces a smile: ''What if I bought you that bag you wanted? Remember, the one at the mall?''

Will's eyes widen. He hates that his father feels like more material stuff will make him happy. Sure he wants to look cool but he doesn't want to steal his dad's money. He shakes his head: ''I don't want it anymore.''

''What if I took you to the salon, get your nails done? That could be fun, you never had that, right?'' he tries, getting a bit desperate.

''Dad, no!'' he grabs his wrists squeezing them. ''You don't need to buy me stuff.''

''I...I just want you to feel pretty Will. I want you to feel good, I just wish I could show you.'' he pleads feeling the rocks of his guilt pile one by one in the pit of his stomach.

Will hugs him, inhaling deeply his scent. He feels the tears coming back as he remembers the way he had insisted for his father to buy him that nine dollar bow. Telling him he was always so cheap... all for a boy. And then he had thrown it down the hallway. ''I'm sorry for throwing the bow daddy.'' he amends in his shoulder.

Bill sits on the bed because his knees are hurting. He hugs his son till he finishes crying and then he affirms: ''If you don't like it no more, I don't either.''

Will tries to smiles and his dad kisses his left cheek, then the top his head, then his right cheek, then his chin. Again, again and a fourth time till Will starts to smile a bit. It's very weak but it's still there.

''I love you Will.''

''I love you too, daddy.''

''Nobody'' he tells him sternly, peering into his eyes with his grey ones, ''Nobody'' he repeats pocking a finger at his chest ''Has the right to wipe off that smile from your face. Nobody's good enough, you hear me?''

Will nods, thinking of Jaden's easy stroll and quick tongue. At the way it felt to be held into his arms. To be kissed. He squeezes his eyes at the memory of their coupling. The sheets! He needs to get them back, before his father sees. He can't know Will slept with him, can't know he's dirty like that.

''Will are you okay?'' he asks concerned, watching his son's eyes jump in every direction.

Will wipes his face, ''yeah, thanks dad.''

Bill looks at him for a good minute, wishing he'd never grown up, this way he could still sleep with him at night and give him milk. His only concern being having him fed, clean and changed. Everything got more complicated as they grew older.

''I'll order us some Chinese.''

Will tries to protest. Chinese is expensive and his dad doesn't even like it. ''I know how to cook rice and I can fish my own shrimp'' he keeps saying each time Will tries to pull him in a restaurant, begging him for a meager plater of the least expensive thing he can find.

''That's final'' he warns, than more gently stroking his cheek. ''I need your help to order I don't know what you like. I'll make you a grog.'' Will lets his father wrap him in a blanket and lead the way downstairs, holding tight on his hand.

Will still feels like crap but at least his dad loves him.


	2. Flying Low

Will feels horrible. He's glad he isn't showing too much. But he doesn't want the baby to know that. Doesn't want it to know that it's unwanted. It is. But no one should suffer that knowledge.

William's belly is small for a six months pregnancy. It's like the baby knows it's unwanted. Making itself discreet hoping for mercy. Huddling itself in the small space and barely making a move. Will only feels it shift. No kicking.

It should be kicking by now.

He feels the tears well up. He can't blame them on the hormones. Anybody in his situation would cry. While he sits on the couch, listening to the clock tick he pats his belly. Trying to earn the baby's forgiveness for not loving it enough.

''It's not personal'' he says out loud in a trembling voice. ''It's...I'm ashamed.'' the word spoken out loud, even by himself, hurt. But it is the reality he feels. ''It's not you'' he repeats, ''You just don't have any luck, you fell upon the wrong family.''

He looks at the clock and wills his father to come home faster. Sooner. He's the only thing that soothes his pain.

Will prepares the meal for them and sets the table. He made mashed carrots-potatoes with sausages. He's terribly hungry but forces himself to wait.

He does end up sipping on pickle juice. He starts reading the newspaper, his father found him with a straw stuck in his mouth underlining the article about a house fire.

He was so absorbed he didn't hear him stepping near to pat the top of his forehead.

''Sorry I made you wait son, my power tool broke and I had to buy one at the store.''

Will stuck his head in his neck and hugged him close. Bill could only pat his back.

They hadn't discussed what was going to happen to the baby. Bill hadn't screamed on him for not finding out sooner. When Will had finally told him that he was expecting, he simply had said: ''Your choice is my choice.'' Bill had started to look for government helps and searched for college courses by correspondence. Will's grades had managed to stay steady despite the mess. He couldn't be prouder. God wasn't always merciful with them but he had granted his son good brains. And that's all he needed to know to be reassured. Will was a good kid. One day he'd be happier.

They ate in silence after grace. Bill was tired after a week of work, even more so since Will came less to help him. Will didn't mind it. He didn't feel alone, his dad was here.

''I brought you a dishwasher to work on. The Kellie's said they'd pay you fifty bucks for the repairs plus the parts.''

Will's plate was almost empty, he was shoveling the food like it would disappear. ''That's good.'', he needed the money.

''I'll carry it in the living room for you while you prepare the chicory.''

Will chewed his lips as the water boiled. He heard his father grunt as he came in with the trolley. The machine looked fairly old. He licked his lips in anticipation. Fifty bucks was a lot.

''William?''

''Yes dad?''

''I'll cut your hair on Sunday morning and then we can go scavenging, you'd like that?''

Scavenging was another word for treasure hunting. They'd go to the dump and find electronics, cables, springs, motors, any parts that could be salvaged and brought them back. The Graham's were good with their hands. They took care of house machines and cars. It always was good pocket money for him or his dad when business was slow. It allowed them to always have a minimum of comfort. Like new shoes, a new backpack or a pipe.

*

Will wore cheap perfume. Not enough to clog his nose but enough to cover his pregnant scent. He wore baggy clothes. He was the weirdo at school so they never new the difference. Just thought he was uncomfortable and chubby. He had escaped P.E. by faking a sprained ankle but his time was soon up.

His pregnancy kept progressing slowly. Luckily everything was going smoothly. Their insurance wouldn't cover extra tests. The due date was approaching and he could feel his dad's worry increasingly. Holding things for him, bringing him treats or warm water. He clutched his pencil as he stared at the SAT practice book in front of him. Soon all of this would be over. He continued working hard without asking himself any questions. He had thought he would have panicked. That he'd be a mess. He cried a lot, but he woke up everyday. Pretended to be fine at school. Had made two friends. Marx and Lucas which were truly chubby. Will felt bad lying but he was an outcast in his own way so it wasn't that much of a lie. Marx liked true crime and Lucas loved car engines. All three of them managed to converse and eventually hung out from time to time.

Things could be worse. Aside from the baby, these months were almost better than the previous ones. He didn't have to sit in front of Jaden anymore since he was in a lot of APs. Nobody knew he was pregnant and his dad still loved him.

*

Will thinks he made his decision. It's non too early. His cervix is well dilated.

He's wearing a too big overall in a small store, where things smell of softness and are plush. He picks a blue rabbit. He was immediately drawn to it. It was slightly cast to the side; its left eye slightly sewn askew.

The lady at the desk wants to give him a price for the confection defect but he refuses. ''He's as perfect as all the others.'' he softly mutters.

Bill Graham calls school on a a Monday morning to warn that his son has a stomach bug and won't be able to come to class for a week.

Both him and Will stare at the screeching creature that they laid on his chest.

Will is surprised that it is so loud now that it's out in the real world. It was so discreet inside of the womb. It's a little girl. Bill has to admit that he falls in love with her immediately. Just like he had when Will had been laid naked and whining on his chest. He worriedly watches his son. The babe and him are staring at each other silently. Communicating somehow. Her faded blind blue eyes staring instinctual at his.

The social worker is behind the door.

Will signs the papers once she's fed and put to bed.

The next morning he leaves the hospital. Before, he holds his daughter's hand a long time. She's holding it back, clutching the blue rabbit in the other. The social worker asks him again if he's sure. Will slowly nods. She watches his determined expression. His set eyebrows and firm feet. But she also sees the delicacy of his hands, his flaring nostrils, catching on the scent of them. Him and his babe. He smells of milk. The boy's father is their too. Petting the little girls head.

A Graham, lost forever. He looks at the social worker. Regretting, almost hating his son. For his resolve. For forbidding him to adopt her. He had never thought to ask. The baby was an abstraction. All that counted was his son. Until he had seen his vulnerable grand-daughter squirming on her first day out in the world. He had asked Will. So sure his son would be relieved. ''I'd take her as my own, say your cousin died in an accident with her partner.'' Will's tired face had strained to lift towards his father's pleading eyes: ''She can't be in my life.''

Will returns alone the next morning. He stays a long time in the room. Looking at his daughter. The next day he brings a felt blanket. The next day he brings a gold chain to tie around her plump neck. The nurses know him. They think he's going to change his mind. After all he comes every other day of the week. Still walking in too long sleeved sweaters, carrying a story to read, singing lullabies, caressing her stomach. He doesn't feed her. He doesn't carry her either. But he spends hours every morning near her crib, with her. Dutifully making sure that she receives care.

One day the boy doesn't come and the crib is empty.

*

Will thinks of that little girl he couldn't claim for himself all these years ago as he empties his gun in Hobbs. He just can't stop shooting. Can't stop pressing against the trigger again and again, looking only at her. Black haired, blue eyed, bleeding on the ground. Dead.


End file.
